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Archive for October, 2012

I was wondering…

A number of people in my discussion group shared that their earliest glimpses of God was through christian music. One of them shared that when she was younger, every time after the church service was over, she would race to the swing set nearby, swing as high as she could and sing at the top of her lungs.    She said she didn’t realize it until much later that in those moments she was connecting with God.  Even today she feels she is most connected to God when she sings praises to Him.

As for me… it all began with a dead dog! Early one morning, in our hometown, we got up and was devastated to witness our big dog lying dead on the road. He had been killed by a drunk driver. With much sadness, we placed him in a wooden box and buried him in the woods nearby.

Later that day, I must have wrestled with the meaning of life and death. I somehow came up with a defense mechanism and a theory that people generally do not die unless they are very sick or are killed in a car accident, like our poor dog. I imagined as we grow older, we will grow as tall as my dad; and as we age, we will shrink like my grandma (who was pretty petite in stature).   Then slowly, we will shrink down to the size of a baby, and then we will grow tall again, and life repeats itself just like that, forever.

However, that night, death haunted me for I was hit with the reality that everyone must die one day.  I was shattered and I cried myself to sleep thinking about the purpose of life and the mystery of death; Sometimes I would imagine that I was in deep sleep but my family thought I was dead, thus placed me in a coffin and buried me. I imagined myself waking up and suffocating and screaming, “Get me out of here, I am not dead!!” This went on for years and I became a very miserable person, especially at night under the blanket, crying myself to sleep.


Then one day, one of my sisters brought a song home for us to sing. It was a beautiful song and it was as if a higher being was telling me there is hope in life. The lyric goes like this:

One day I was wondering what’s it all about.
Life is full of heartbreak, restlessness and doubt.
Then a gentle stranger whispered words of love,
pointed me to heaven, wrote my name above.

I know where I’m going, and who I’m gonna see,
I have a friend named Jesus waiting there for me.
He has given something that only He could give,
He gave His life in payment so that I could live!

After learning the song, I become hopeful with life.  When I finished high school, the same sister and her friends prayed for me and invited me to their church.  I was thinking since I didn’t know what to do with my life, I might as well accept the invitation. That evening at the basic Christianity class, my fear of death was stilled because I learned that Jesus is the Way to heaven.

Without much hesitation, I accepted Jesus as my Savior so that I could have a relationship with Him and that He could bring me to heaven.

Jesus answered, “I am the Way and the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.” John 14:6

As I reflect on my childhood spiritual journey, I see how God has formed me through the ages and He continues to do so.  He has allowed me to wrestle with life issues at a very young age so that in due time I would fully surrender myself to Him and none other.

The other day I was contemplating by the edge of a creek, and this song from Numbers 21:17 sprang out from my soul!

I’ve got a river of life flowing out of me,
Makes the lame to walk and the blind to see,
Opens prison doors, sets the captives free,
I’ve got a river of life flowing out of me.

Spring up, O well, within my soul,
Spring up oh well, and make me whole,
Spring up, O well, and give to me,
That life, abundantly.

Hmm…, I wonder if we will see our family dog in heaven?

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My legs don’t lie!

I used to be so self-conscious about my big legs,
but it all changed one day…

I was at this famous clothing store trying on a denim skirt
which looked really good on me.
The skirt was a bit short so I decided not to get it.
But the sales lady convinced me that I had a pair of attractive legs.
She commented, “Oh, you have beautiful legs… lots of muscles!”
She further stated that
many people were trying to work out just to get those attractive feature
and that I was lucky to have such a pair!
Oh I do?
Without much hesitation, I quickly grabbed the skirt and headed to the cashier!

Imagine…, just a $10 skirt could rid one’s consciousness of big calf muscle,
thanks to this so called retail therapy!

Another time I went biking on a scenic trail.
At one point I had to ask for directions.
I approached a middle aged couple who looked pretty fit.
We chatted for a bit and then the man asked if I was an avid athlete.
I replied with a quick no and curiously asked what made him think I am one.
His wife, pointing to my calf muscles, commented,
“Oh, we could tell from those legs, they’re gorgeous!”

Wow, with that affirmation, I rode away happily in the breeze,
just thankful that I didn’t fall off my bike from cloud 9!

A friend from a far away land missed our recent get-together,
but she had the chance to guess from the picture
which foot belongs to which buddies.
Obviously, that pair of gorgeous muscle gave me away…
for she spotted them right away ^^

My legs just don’t lie…

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